So my male contributor has written more (and better) posts than me lately. I’m kind of a failure guys. haha. But here it is, for all you “How I Met Your Mother” lovers, this one’s for you. And, you know, anyone else who wants to know how to tell if a guy is a player.
This is going to be LEGEND-wait for it-DARY
by: the mysterious male contributer
Welp, guess it’s been a solid couple of months since I’ve gave all of you some insight into the dark cavernous reaches of the male mind. My bad, meant to be more consistent than that, but hey- hopefully that means that this post will just be that much more insightful.
So let’s get to it… So what have I been up to? Well mostly working my life away at a couple of part time jobs, but there have been some opportunities, whether it’s drinks with coworkers after work or attending a good friend’s wedding where I’ve been able to be not only be on the dating prowl, but also talk and think about what it is that makes us men tick. So where do we go from here? Well as I sit here late at night (more like early morning at this point, frickin’ night shifts), I’m looking back at the poll we ran on my last few post and I see a small (boo I know more of you read this page! Vote on these polls, damn you) majority of you voted for “When is “too young” to get engaged? (or too fast).” While that’s a great topic- that I’ll hopefully ramble on about in the near future, the topic that’s catching my eye is “How do you know if a guy is a player?” You want to know the reason that’s appealing to me? Well, because at the risk of turning all of you against me… I am a player.
Wait! Don’t close the tab on this post yet! I have a defense and (I hope) it makes sense. All, and I mean every single last guy on this planet, is a player- What varies is the game that they are playing. Some (let’s call them Barney’s) want nothing but to bed you for one night and never see or talk to you again. Others want nothing more than to find that perfect girl and put a ring on it, the “Ted” if you will). ￼ However, the vast majority of us, especially in the generation that’s currently in their 20‘s (myself included) are a balance between those two approaches. I’m a helpless romantic. When I fall, I’m an all-in, steal a blue French Horn for you type of guy… a Ted. However a lot of the time, especially still relatively fresh from a breakup, I want to just be a Barney, on the prowl looking for a good time for now, not tomorrow.
So, you have the Barneys who are always looking for one night- the traditional “players” if you will, and then you have the half and halves, such as myself, who fit the traditional “player” mold some of the time. However, the Ted’s? They’re still players… It’s just that their game is different and not what most women think of as a “player.” They’re out there judging, even more, might I add, than the other two groups I’ve mentioned. They’re quick to dismiss any girl for not hitting the right criteria. They’re going to be even more judgmental because they’re out there looking for a wife. They’re the ones who will drop you quicker than most, because they want you for longer. And they should be more judgmental; because that’s their future they are trying to build.
“But I just want to know ahead of time who’s a Barney out in the crowd!!” you say. “I want a Ted!” Well then be honest with yourself and with the guys you’re talking to. Don’t expect the guy you slept with the first night you met him to be your Ted. Straight up tell a guy what you want; if you want the relationship, the Barney’s will back away. However, if you’re looking for something shorter don’t lie to yourself. Go out, let your hair down and have a good time. Maybe you’ll meet a Barney and have one solid night. Maybe you’ll meet one of us half & halves, and have a fling for a few weeks. Maybe that fling will grow into a relationship and become the real thing and maybe it won’t. But if you are being honest with yourself and with guys about what you want it won’t be an issue.
As always, a huge thank you goes out to the wonderful proprietor of this excellent blog for allowing me to bring you these male perspectives. Also please LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS! Comment and let’s discuss. If you want me to further explain a thought, comment! If you think I’m an idiot, comment! If you agree, comment! If you have a question, comment! And of course if you have a suggestion for a future topic, comment! I’m doing this not only to provide you with a male perspective, but to learn about the other side of the coin as well. I want to hear your thoughts and interact! Thank you so much for reading.
*note: Yes I know, Ted had his player moments, and Barney had his relationship moments throughout the course of the show. This post focuses on broad generalizations of the characters in order to prove a point and put on a face on the different types of “players”.