Strangelove or: How I learned to stop worrying and accept our online dating overlords

 By: The Male Contributer 

If you didn’t get the reference the title of this post is making then you definitely need to Google Dr. Strangelove and learn some movie history, but also maybe my second working title will be more up your alley. Consider this post co-named: “It’s going down, I’m yelling Tinder.”

Hey y’all, I’m back again and a lot quicker this time, look at that (great success!). So you know how I’ve been promising that I’m actually working on stuff and not just relying on your suggestions? This is one of those posts where I actually use my own ideas… yes they actually do exist! So let’s start with a confession: I have been on a Tinder* date. That is a date with someone I met and know exclusively from Tinder…. Yeah, that happened. Judge if you will, it’s completely understandable and in all reality probably deserved. But know this: it wasn’t, I repeat that it was not a bad experience and it actually gave me a new perspective on dating. Well, at least an insight into part of the dating world I hadn’t thought about or experienced before. So before we get into my revelation about dating let’s talk about this Tinder date.

I’m not sure about the rest of you but I have this tendency to jump on Tinder at the end of a long night… a long night out on the town with a few adult beverages that is. This has, well, it has mixed results, let’s be honest. I’ve woken up to a few uhhhhh…. interesting (let’s go with that) matches and conversations the morning after. However this time around I matched with a lovely young lady late one night and was instantly surprised to find that she had swiped in my direction as well. Well I knew drunk me sending a message to her at 3am wasn’t the route I wanted to go, so I went to bed and woke up the next morning, clear and refreshed (maybe a touch hungover? Don’t really recall but not a bad bet) and struck up a conversation. Once again I was surprised, this time by how easy the conversation went. After a few days of messaging back and forth with some flirting mixed in for good measure, we had ourselves a dinner date. I did the gentlemanly thing and picked her up and paid, went the whole nine yards of course, I am nothing if not a gentleman. Wouldn’t you know I was surprised again- The conversation flowed seamlessly; we ate our dinner and stayed at the restaurant for a good 3-4 hours, just chilling and talking like we were old friends.

Long story short, we had a few more dates, (wouldn’t call those Tinder dates because we actually knew each other outside the app at this point) those went well but we decided to go our separate ways for a variety of reasons, not really important. What is important, however, is the lesson this initial date taught me. So, what is it that I learned? Well I learned that online dating is not just the future, it’s the present. Our generation is constantly online and connecting with people through social media so isn’t the next logical step meeting romantic interests online?

Now, I’m not saying it’s the only way, in fact, I much prefer meeting people in person- However, I also recognize that I’m an awkward dude, like coffee or beer- I’m an acquired taste. Online dating, which Tinder for all intents and purposes is, allows for that acquired taste to come through. It only benefits me and many others like me to embrace it. When you think about how our generation operates, constantly connected to our computers and phones, the role of the internet will only continue to increase when it comes to people meeting with romantic purposes. It may not be how we imagine meeting someone, but if trends show us anything, the number of people meeting on a website or app designed for that very purpose is increasing and will only continue to increase so you might as well admit it to yourself and be open to the possibility.

Now, I’m still in my early 20’s, so I’m not signing up for match.com or eHarmony anytime soon. There’s nothing wrong with those sites, it’s just not what I’m looking for. However, I’m not going to be opposed to those in the future and I’m not going to be opposed to meeting someone who I consider dateable on Tinder, or another app/website like it. To think otherwise is only cheating yourself out of the full potential of ways to meet someone who may grow to being someone special to you. So that’s my little bit of ranting for the time being. What do you think? Is Tinder an okay place to meet someone worth dating? 

Online dating: Inevitable trend of the future? Or not? Let’s hear what you have to say in the comments. And while you’re at it, let’s hear some suggestions for future posts. Also please go vote in the poll posted at the end of my last post about future topic ideas: https://hugsandthesuburbs.wordpress.com/2014/06/02/male-contributor-post-2-are-there-soul-mates/

As always, thanks to the proprietor of this site for giving me the chance to give a man’s perspective and thanks to all of you for reading, I hope that I entertained you and also gave you an interesting male perspective on things.

*For those of you, like Kailey, who don’t know what Tinder is, here is the wikipedia page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinder_(application)

 

Advertisements

One thought on “Strangelove or: How I learned to stop worrying and accept our online dating overlords

  1. Thank you for the input! I really enjoyed your views and the “male perspective!” I personally am very traditional and wouldn’t use an online dating site. I have always been single and am happy how I am. I think we have to get to that place; whole and happy on our own until we find or open ourselves to a relationship. I think too many people get their esteem and self-worth from a significant other and that will only lead to disappointment. Life is more than romance. I think we tend to get stuck on one aspect of life and forget to look around us at the beauty that is everywhere. I think if we just keep giving and looking out for others over ourselves that is when we are truly happy and when someone will pop into the picture. Life is about giving not receiving. If I ever meet someone I want that person to be a best friend. I want us to be a team and do more as a couple than we could do apart. I think we need to change our thinking from what can I get from this relationship to what can I GIVE from this relationship.

    Hope this prompts some new thinking!

    Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s