The worst thing that can happen to your relationship is to follow relationship advice.
because all of it is a lie. Including mine.
Because, guess what? All relationships are different. No one else will ever love someone like you love your family. No one else will love their children like you love yours. And no one else’s love will be the same love that you have with your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or best friend. There is no one perfect formula: take a half cup man plus a quarter cup woman and stir. Put it in the oven and in 20 minutes you will have a relationship. Some relationships need cinnamon, some need more flour, and some may even need a heaping ton of salt. Something that we all need to realize is: no one else is in your relationship besides you and your partner.
Okay, so I’m not going to say that if your parents and friends hate them then it’s totally not a warning sign and he’s a great guy- because that probably would be a lie. But all the advice columns… all the people bitter because of a broken heart or defensive of their own choices are not going to make the right decision for you. I could drive myself crazy reading all the things from A) the people who are single and are mad because they haven’t found someone yet OR watched their relationship crash and burn, or, B) the people who married young/fast/whatever and feel the need to tell everyone else IT IS OK AND I AM SO HAPPY AHH.
if you are the above: I have no problem with you, I am happy for you either way- Yay you’re single and that is awesome- freedom and nights out and independence, oh my! and if you are married- lucky you, you found your best friend who you wanna live with and that’s fantastic. 🙂 It’s just hard when these people think “their” way is the BEST and ONLY way. I guess this should be no surprise, us as human beings do this all the time. But it’s really confusing if you’re somewhere in the middle. I look at the single people and am like “well, I’m not single.” The very, uh, passionate ones believe your 20’s and college years are for hooking up, traveling the world on a whim, and that being married or in a relationship is the worst possible thing you could do to yourself. The married ones are all “I got married to my high school sweetheart and we are super happy! Why wait?”
sooo…. one group of society tells me I’m living my life wrong and will regret it because I didn’t date a string of men (not that that’s wrong if that’s what you want- live your life girl! it’s just not the choice for me.) and the other half tells me I should be married already because if i’m not ready then it’s not right. So what are we supposed to do? is there a right choice for anyone? Should we all run around like chicken’s with our heads cut off securing our MRS. degrees or should we break off a great relationship just so we can explore? There is no one right answer for everyone. No one-size-fits-all. But there is something that IS true.
If I could tell everyone in the whole world one thing?
It would be that love is not expendable.
We’ve got to stop treating it like it is.
You cannot buy love- you can’t get it on a computer screen, late at night on a X-rated site and you can’t find it in a prostitute. It’s not love they’re selling. A man whose wife is from an arranged marriage does not necessarily have her heart- just her company.
Love can be made at any point and any time, and we’re not going to run out of it like we might for our natural resources. But it’s not something that you can plainly see. If you think too deeply about it, it becomes confusing about what it actually is. Chemicals? Friendship on fire? Hormones? Whether you call the most powerful being God, Allah, Buddha, or cosmic karma, you can not argue that the common connection between all of us is LOVE. Love is the thing that is present everywhere- seeking, searching, finding, giving, and never taking. You don’t give up on true love. Or at least, you shouldn’t.
Your family, your children, and your spouse… these are the things that we should love and cherish above all else. Because they give us love and need ours in return.
Everyone is different. There is a “right” path for everyone to choose for themselves… So don’t be afraid to defy the social norm, go after what you want, marry your best friend, chase your dreams, or marry your best friend WHILE chasing your dreams. But please.. don’t listen to me. Decide for yourself.