It’s sweet summer summertime!
or spring. whatever floats your boat…
As for me, I have finished my finals, moved back home, and started my internship- today I held lots of babies. In the world of Kailey, this is a wonderful wonderful thing.
What I want to talk about today is friendship: How people come and go in your life. There are the obvious times- graduating high school or college. When you look around and you know you’ll never see some of those people again. That sounds horrible, and you don’t want to admit it to yourselves, or each other… But you don’t know the future. It’s weird to me to think that I might never actually see again, in person, one of my past best friends or crush or family friends who moved away. I always seem to run into the people I don’t want to see- never the ones I do. Maybe that means something. Maybe I should put in the effort. Either way, I know it probably won’t happen. Does that make me sound like a horrible person for saying that? Maybe. But you can’t admit that you haven’t done the same to someone, at some point in your life.
The other night I had a dream about someone who I haven’t seen in a while. Someone who quickly became one of my best friends my freshman year of college. She and I shared the same major, and lived in the same hall. She was more tom-boyish than me, but I always felt safe with her. Like I fit in. After a fall out with my roommate and other best friends, we grew even closer, and there wasn’t a day where I didn’t think she was going to be my maid of honor someday.
…Or so I thought. She was from out of state and returned there in the summer. I missed her like crazy but we texted a lot and I thought things would go back to normal the next year. Sadly, I returned to find things a little different than I expected. I had a new boyfriend and had changed my major, while she moved in with a new girl she became fast friends with and moved further into the cliques of my former major. I suddenly felt left out whenever I was with her, like I was missing some private joke. She became less and less available and as I lived in another hall as her it became harder to see her. As the year drew on I joined a sorority, and when I told her of my decision (it was a rather rash one at the time) she barely reacted and I knew I had lost her. It was incredibly sad whenever I saw her that year… She would barely say hi to me, and when we finally did meet for lunch she acted distant, barely talking to me about what had happened in the months/weeks we had been apart. I never really did figure out why she cut me out of her circle, but I guess looking back on it now I realize some of it was me, growing away on my own. I was no longer the single girl theatre major I once was. I was a sorority girl with a boyfriend, and whether I liked it or not I was different. That doesn’t mean it hurt any less though.
The truth is, we always keep moving forward, with or without the people we thought would be along with us for the ride. It’s hard sometimes, without these people, because we were counting on them. Because originally we believed they would be there for us. But we have to realize that you still can do the things you wanted to do. You can still complete your goals, and take the steps to becoming the future you. You just do it in a slightly different way. And despite what anyone tells you, if those people bailed, they weren’t good travel partners anyway.
You’ve just got to count your blessings, realize who really matters to you, and move on. Life is too short to hold a grudge, or a regret.
(p.s. If you didn’t get the title reference, it’s from an old girl scout song about friendship. haha)