The First Kiss Debate

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2 posts in 2 days? I know. Things just got serious. This may or may not be a result of my procrastination for my two midterms tomorrow. But one of them is human sexuality so I consider this studying. …Right?

The other day I was watching random youtube videos, and happened to read the comments on one, which was a comedian’s story of his first kiss. The person said “I’m 13 and I still haven’t had my first kiss- definition of forever alone.” and I was like WHAAAAAAAT.

I was 17 when I had mine. in case you were wondering.

My best friend is 20 years old and has yet to be kissed because she’s waiting for the right guy, and I totally respect that.

A society where a 13 year old is “forever alone” because they haven’t been kissed yet? God forbid no one wants to mash their lips to yours in 7th grade. Honestly.

So I know the majority of you are probably like “yeah, actually lots of people have their first kiss even younger than that.”

I was scared of boys in middle school, to be completely honest with you. I had a HUGE crush on one of my best friend’s older brothers at the time, and I’m pretty sure he only said 5 words to me the entire time I knew him. I was still in the whole “inner audience” stage and I thought everything revolved around me and everyone was watching my every move. So the two times he said those few words to me I was positive it was a sign of his undying love for me. duh.

I wasn’t exactly attractive in middle school. I’m not going to post a photo because I have done everything within my power (including literally tackling boys who have been to my house) to keep them from seeing the pictures.

let me lay it out for you.

braces.

glasses.

frizzy hair.

bushy eyebrows.

basically just picture Mia Thermopolis from the princess diaries BEFORE she got the makeover.

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yeah. No one wanted to date me.

But it’s ok, because I was YOUNG. So young. And while it’s perfectly fine if you had your first kiss at age 8, or dated 7 people in 6th grade alone… that wasn’t for me. I don’t think there was any way I could’ve been prepared for dating, relationships, or any of the emotional baggage that comes with it before age 18. I know that makes me weird. But what’s the point in middle school? You’re not going to marry that person.

For the past two summers I’ve worked in a program with 5 year old to 12 year old kids. The older ones would tell me I had to “get a move on” with finding a husband because I’m so old apparently, and it was about time I settled down and had kids (I didn’t have T the first year). Lots of them would tell me about their “girlfriends” or “boyfriends” and sometimes it was really cute, and other times it made me so sad. They don’t have the chance to be a little kids. Our culture teaches little girls to wear makeup (a 7 year old came in with eyeliner on one day), to wear short skirts, and to be involved with boys in order to be considered “cool.” When I was their age I couldn’t care less about how I looked, and I spent hours reading fantasy novels about magical kingdoms, and pretending I was Karana and my backyard was the island of the blue dolphins.

Is there too much pressure on kids to start dating early? Or has it always been this way? I remember in 4th grade our teachers had to have a serious talk with us about waiting to date until we could show them our driver’s license because it had become such a problem. At the time I had scoffed…. They want us to wait until we’re 16? I’ll be so old by then. 

But now I’m glad that that’s how it turned out.

….So here’s my awkward little story. Enjoy.

My first kiss was a very good friend of mine at the time. We had liked each other on and off for several months and come the end of my junior year we finally liked each other at the same time. He was the first boy I ever went on a date with… we went to see Night in the Museum 2 with one of my friends and her boyfriend. It was clearly an awesome first date. One or two group dates later he lingered as he was leaving and I knew what he wanted. But I freaked out, told him goodbye and all but slammed the door in his face. The next time we hung out he dropped me off at my house and walked me up to my door. I knew it was coming, and I was so nervous. I couldn’t look at him, and when he put his arms around my waist I couldn’t breathe. I WAS SO SCARED. And knowing I couldn’t run away was the worst part. I pretty much blacked out during the actual kiss. But the funny part is… I didn’t kiss him back. I just stood there like some kind of zombie. So romantic I know. A week or so later I knew that my feelings for him were over and I told him so. He was honestly one of the sweetest boys I’ve ever met, and he’s off trying to be an actor in california right now. So maybe someday he’ll be famous, and I can say he was my first kiss.

What is your first kiss story? Was it super awkward? Romantic? Perfect? Or are you still waiting for the right person?

As long as you know it is right for you, then whatever age you choose is the “perfect” age. All I ask is please… for the love of all that is good in this world, do NOT end up like the kissing-virgin video couple on their wedding day. You, your significant other, your wedding guests, and the internet world do not need to see that. Sorry, not sorry.

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